Teenage -twenteen angst is awesome.
Passionate is another good word to throw out.
In comparison to my current life, I feel much more boring than who I was. I don't know if its a sign of maturity or just growing up. Or it could just be that I'm just simply more boring and dont do as much. Which is pretty damn sad.
In general, I know I've matured since these earlier blogs... but at what cost? I ranted about not having money, needing a job, wanting a car, etc. and now I got all that. But I cant help but think I've lost something along the way. Sure there were certain experiences between then and now that has changed me, but it's kind of sad to think that I maybe much more numb now to "experience" things in general. It used to be about the little things that I enjoyed. Trivial outtings with friends and conversations that I didnt want to end. Minds racing with ideas. This was fun and entertaining stuff. And now for the most part when I'm having a conversation with someone I'm always not fully drawn into the conversation or I'd rather not talk to that person at all, growing very impatient. That was never me. But it is me. It seems decent converations can't be had anymore but with the exception of an old friend or an alcholic beverage in hand. Even then i cant help but feel it isnt as sincere as it used to be. I really dont know what im getting at if im really trying to get at anything. But i know in the next 2, 3 years ill probably read this post and comment again.
Though I've said this before, I'd like to start posting as a habit again, but i wont be suprised if i dont live up to my expectations.
Maybe this is an unpremeditated benefit of a digital live journal. to come back every now and then to check old posts. Whether it be out of boredom or habit or randomness, sifting through old entires, reflecting on the old ideas and comparing it with the ones. And by doing so you kind of find pieces of yourself. As much as we change a lot as each day passes, i cant help but also feel its easy to forget who we were, but maybe that's a good thing. I guess thats for everyone else to decide on their own.